Stacey Jacobs
COLUMNIST

I was recently asked by a friend if I knew what truffle butter was. I immediately began to imagine the delightful tastes of truffle and butter becoming one. I had heard about such delicacies on the Food Network and I was excited to learn more. And then my bubble burst. My friend showed me the urban dictionary definition: “when you pull your dick out of her asshole and put it in her vagina. The tan around the pussy is called truffle butter. Poo mixed with cum = truffle butter.”

My mouth,  which had been watering as I imagined rich aromatic butter, was now watering as I tried not to vomit. I have a hard time believing that the person who coined the term truffle butter has any respect for vaginas, consent, or butter for that matter. Don’t get me wrong: between consenting adults there is nothing wrong with anal sex, or vaginal sex, or having vaginal and then anal sex. There are, however, dangers to having anal sex and then immediately switching to vaginal sex, even if done consensually. I feel like I should not have to say this but apparently I do: poo does not belong in a vagina!

Anything that has been in an anus – penis, fingers, hands, sex toys etc. – should not go into a vagina until thoroughly cleaned. Better yet, have separate toys that are only used in the butt, and one butt per toy. Use toys for the butt and toys for the vagina at the same time. Use gloves and condoms and then change the gloves and condoms before switching from the anus to the vagina. Or start in the vagina and then switch to the butt. There are many safe ways to involve the vagina and the anus in sex play together.

Many are curious about anal sex. The nerve endings around the anus can make anal play pleasurable. The key to anal sex is lots of lube (anuses do not naturally lubricate) and taking it slow. Start with a finger or a small toy. Anal toys should have a base so they cannot get sucked into the anus – don’t assume that all things come out of the butt. Never surprise anyone by putting something in their butt. This can cause damage, sometimes permanent. Communication and consent are key. Always ask.

Also, there is often no poo involved in anal sex. Poo does not sit at the anal sphincter waiting to make its move. Poo sits higher in the body, in the colon, and only when you get the urge to poo has it moved into the rectum. If you have the urge to poo you should do so before having anal sex because unless you are sexually aroused and derive pleasure from feces (which some do) shitting yourself during sex is probably not a turn on. Moral of the story, truffle butter should be made from butter and truffles and nothing else.