I have never quite understood holidays—I know which ones people celebrate and, for the most part, how. But the actual reason for celebration usually escapes me.
I grew up here, but we moved to Kitchener at a time when there were far fewer people of my culture. The one holiday we celebrate is Diwali and we do it by cleaning a lot and decorating a lot and eating a lot and then setting off a lot of fireworks. There is not much prayer or ritual involved in my family.
Since I grew up in a place fairly isolated from my own culture, it was just another day with extra work to do—so why bother?
In talking to one of my friends, I learned more about his holidays. For him, as a Jewish man, there are roles and responsibilities defined in rituals—he is needed in these rituals because he is a Jewish man.
He said that the understanding of his role and the knowledge that he is intrinsically valuable makes it easier for him to participate in holidays, regardless of his level of faith.
He said that although he does not always pray or celebrate holidays when he is on his own, but when in family, he follows the lead of his mother and sister and plays his part.
Despite his own ambivalence, that he is needed and that he has a role is helpful in ensuring his participation.
For another friend of mine who was raised Muslim, he participates in holidays because he loves his mother. He no longer identifies with Islam, but continues to be heavily involved in his religious community because his mother appreciates and values his involvement.
He said that the rituals and practices he is involved in may not mean as much to him as they do other, more faithful Muslims, but his mother’s happiness is enough to motivate him to participate.
Both of them grew up heavily entrenched in their faiths and cultures, but I did not. They both have religious, cultural and familial roles defined for them. My religion does not separate our tasks by gender, our prayers are largely done in the temple.
In fact, Diwali is not technically a holiday that I, as a Sikh, should be celebrating. So why should I celebrate these holidays at all?
Since I did not get a satisfactory answer from my first question, I asked what people liked about holidays.
For the most part, the connection with culture and the sense of belonging, as well as time spent with family were common answers.
This is true for me as well—I do not love doing extra chores or cooking (at all), but I like decorating and working toward a common goal with others.
I like having friends over and being chaotically jovial. I like a house full of people, faint background music, the smells of different foods wafting through the house, pretty clothes, boxes of sweets, envelopes of money for all the children and even whispered arguments about unimportant details.
I love holidays because other people love them and I love other people.
So this is my answer: I should celebrate holidays because I want to. I value and enjoy the connections and experiences they bring.
This does not mean that my way is better than others’—if you don’t like being with other people and would rather spend time alone, then go for it. This does not make you boring or morally reprehensible. If you hate Christmas, be grumpy and live your best life. But I hope that you have the connection and the love and comfort that holidays bring, even if you are not celebrating anything. That’s the important bit.
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